not the goddamned zoo again

April 1, 2014 12:04 PM

I’m having a really hard time adapting to moving to the big city but I really love the guy I’m with. I used to live in a more rural location but got swept off my feet by this guy and we moved in together. I’m trying to find useful work and I’ve delivered newspapers and even tried high rise window washing but it never seems to stick. I’ve been to the hospital a few times (broke my leg, swallowed a puzzle piece) and I wonder if my body is trying to tell me something? What have your experiences been adjusting after an international move?
posted by iamcuriousg to Society & Culture around (21 answers total)

Can you find an ex-pats group on Meetup.com or on the local Craigslist? That might ease the transition, so at least you get to see people familiar with your old way of life from time to time, and share strategies for adjusting to your new home.
posted by mathowie at 9:05 PM on March 31, 2014 [2 favorites]

Hmmm I curious, wait maybe that's you? Anyway have you considered hat making? Balloon selling? Perhaps screen writing for a major motion picture?
posted by saradarlin at 9:17 PM on March 31, 2014 [3 favorites]

Unless you want a murder rap, stay away from the cat.
posted by blueberry at 9:50 PM on March 31, 2014

Yes, but have you tried underground window washing? That usually does it for me.
posted by augustimagination at 10:01 PM on March 31, 2014

Seconding mathowie's suggestion of a meetup; touching base with folks from back home could give you a little bit of stability. There might even be mefites you could hang out with; maybe try monkeying around with IRL?
posted by cortex at 10:17 PM on March 31, 2014

I've heard there's a cap-wearing meetup in your area, with folks that are probably your type.
posted by LionIndex at 10:22 PM on March 31, 2014 [2 favorites]

When it comes to the guy you moved for, I'm not really seeing red flags, although I am seeing yellow. Just stick with him, you'll get used to things in time and then it'll all be old hat to you.
posted by davejay at 10:34 PM on March 31, 2014 [1 favorite]

Everyone who moves internationally need therapy. Lot and lots of therapy, For years.
posted by a humble nudibranch at 11:10 PM on March 31, 2014 [3 favorites]

I have moved internationally. I would say that although it sounds woo woo, there are elements of luck, fate, and destiny that intertwine when you move to an entirely new location. I found that I would meet people from my hometown (or even friends walking down the street) when I first moved, and things just clicked. Or did not click.

I cannot explain it, but my best guess as to why things worked out (or, as the case may be with a different move, did not work out) was the amount of energy and engagement I had with the new place, and the sheer number of people I was meeting.

So put the effort into changing your world.
posted by KokuRyu at 11:38 PM on March 31, 2014

I always tell folks that are new in town they ought to make friends with jaguars and other large cats.

That's the same advice I have for you.
posted by oceanjesse at 12:12 AM on April 1, 2014 [1 favorite]

You may find yourself having trouble adjusting to the culture of your new environment - who hasn't accidentally called 911 and been put in jail? - but I would have faith in your friend to help you adjust - and in new friends you make as you go out and explore the world around you.

Good luck!

P.S. Beware of large bunches of balloons - those suckers can carry you away!
posted by julen at 2:04 AM on April 1, 2014

Are you near Cape Canaveral? You might see about joining NASA.
posted by plinth at 5:49 AM on April 1, 2014 [1 favorite]

I have a friend named Paddington, I'll email you his contact information. You two sound very similar and maybe you'd get along. Friends always help make transitions easier.
posted by jph at 7:03 AM on April 1, 2014 [8 favorites]

Maybe you just haven't found the right job yet -- a career you're passionate about can be a great distraction as you adjust, so keep trying! Btw, I've a got a friend in the music business who's looking for an executive assistant. MeMail me for details if you're interested.
posted by FelliniBlank at 8:35 AM on April 1, 2014

I know things seem hard for you right now, and there is probably some temptation to turn to illegal substances for some relief, but please, stay away from the hard stuff. I had a friend who reminds me a lot of you, and he was never the same once he got started on ether.
posted by Rock Steady at 9:30 AM on April 1, 2014 [3 favorites]

This isn't a direct answer to your question, but I, too, have a friend in the music business, and if you are loyal and reliable, he will reciprocate.
posted by Sunburnt at 11:23 AM on April 1, 2014 [1 favorite]

I've also moved internationally several times.

My advice to you would be, fuck it. Your body starts talking to you? Psh. Body therapy or something? WTF, y'know. Big deal. It's just dirt and humans, just like everywhere else.

This strategy has worked very well for me, as I am now with a major international client headquartered in Paris, and I go home and play FarmVille at lunch and in the evenings. With my cats.

See? It all works out in the end when you have the right attitude.
posted by fraula at 11:30 AM on April 1, 2014

I'm curious, have you tried making friends with boys in your neighborhood? Perhaps try admiring a hobby of theirs - kite flying, raising baby bunnies?
posted by handful of rain at 12:03 PM on April 1, 2014

Could you compromise by finding a place that has both urban and rural qualities? Celesteville, perhaps?
posted by emilypdx at 2:23 PM on April 1, 2014 [2 favorites]

I went to the zoo today. It's fine.
posted by heyho at 3:33 PM on April 1, 2014

DTMFA and move back home. He's not worth it.
posted by SisterHavana at 8:27 PM on April 1, 2014