Do I have a drinking problem?

April 1, 2014 12:34 PM

Hallucinations, distortions, micropsia, macropsia, oh my! Lately I've experienced some weird effects after taking no more than ONE DRINK: 1) heightened taste sensation (a single sip can strike me as tasting like cherry tart, custard, pineapple, roast turkey, toffy and hot buttered toast, all rolled into one), 2) weird body dysmorphia (is that the right word?), in which I feel smaller than a mouse one moment, and the next, it's like "Attack of the 50 Foot Woman" or something, then 3) suddenly I'll find myself crying a river. Literally.

Additionally, 4) I'm seeing and hearing things that I'm pretty sure cannot be real (talking rabbits? don't even ask), 5) I lose all sense of time, and 6) I'm never sure what I'm going to be, from one minute to another.

I'm healthy, under 25, don't do drugs, am a light social drinker (tea, mostly). Again, this happens after taking one drink -- and it's not like the bottle is labeled "poison," or anything. YANMD, but wtf? Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?

posted by Call me Al to Health & Fitness around (36 answers total)

Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?

Is there some reason immediately going to see a doctor about this is not at the top of your list? Tasting things that aren't there can be a sign of temporal lobe epilepsy, among many other things as can the excessively labile emotions and hallucinations. So, stop drinking entirely and go see a doctor. This is beyond the effects of alcohol.
posted by jessamyn at 9:02 PM on March 31, 2014 [26 favorites]

Yeps - this is not a normal reaction to alcohol. Does it happen after any alcohol, e.g beer vs wine vs spirits? What do you normally drink?

As a comparison - I'm also a lightweight, and drink tea most of the time. I only drink Scotch - but after one normal serving of Scotch? I'm feeling slightly more relaxed, slightly more talkative, and slightly fuzzy. That's it.

I'd hightail it to a doctor, and don't drink at all until you do.
posted by spinifex23 at 9:10 PM on March 31, 2014

Doctor, stat.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 9:12 PM on March 31, 2014

Based on your location I have a recommendation. Dr. C.T Pillar. Look him up!
posted by beccaj at 9:14 PM on March 31, 2014 [33 favorites]

Lick a schnozzberry, it tastes like a schnozzberry.
posted by Rock Steady at 9:15 PM on March 31, 2014 [4 favorites]

This sounds like it could be an allergic reaction. No more drinking until you've seen the doctor!
posted by summerstorm at 9:37 PM on March 31, 2014

I sometimes get that confusing sense of limbs being huge or too small when I'm laying down after a few drinks.
posted by Ferreous at 9:42 PM on March 31, 2014 [2 favorites]

Just remember to take photos and also blog about it. They might turn it into a book one day!
posted by liquorice at 9:43 PM on March 31, 2014

OK, stop drinking what you're drinking. And don't eat any mushrooms, they might react. I speak from bitter experience.
posted by town of cats at 9:44 PM on March 31, 2014 [6 favorites]

If you drink much from a bottle marked poison it is certain to disagree with you sooner or later.
posted by Elsa at 9:50 PM on March 31, 2014 [2 favorites]

Take some more tea.
posted by salvia at 9:56 PM on March 31, 2014

I'm healthy, under 25, don't do drugs, am a light social drinker

I don't want to be harsh here, but you say you don't do drugs and yet are talking about having drinks; alcohol is a drug. You can't have your cake and eat it too.
posted by cortex at 9:59 PM on March 31, 2014 [19 favorites]

Okay...I know this might sound weird but one thing that's really worked for me is playing a nice yard game or maybe you could get a kitten...kittens always help.
posted by W.S (disambiguation) at 10:10 PM on March 31, 2014 [5 favorites]

Well first of all, your hair wants cutting. Secondly, even the best butter can ruin some timepieces. Sorry if this isn't that helpful but it's always six o'clock, and we've no time to wash the things between whiles.
posted by drinkyclown at 10:18 PM on March 31, 2014 [26 favorites]

Your question makes me curiouser and curiouser. I think my answer depends on whether or not you're late for a very important date. Can you advise? I do think you'd better read it first, for if one drinks much from a bottle marked "Poison", it's almost certain to disagree with one sooner or later.
posted by davejay at 10:26 PM on March 31, 2014 [6 favorites]

Maybe you need a break. Some time outdoors gardening? A nice game of chess?
posted by salvia at 10:38 PM on March 31, 2014

Serpently, do not drink from that bottle or nibble that cake, either,
posted by a humble nudibranch at 11:06 PM on March 31, 2014 [1 favorite]

Stop worrying so much. Embrace the impossible. When I was your age, I always did it for half-an-hour a day. Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 11:21 PM on March 31, 2014 [10 favorites]

Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?

South, by all means.
posted by artdrectr at 11:29 PM on March 31, 2014 [3 favorites]

Go ask Alice. She's slick with advice about this.

People always tell you to listen to the doormouse, but the fish has some graceful suggestions as well.
posted by Dr Dracator at 12:06 AM on April 1, 2014 [4 favorites]

I have suffered - and at times enjoyed similar smyptoms - but it was from drinking only a drop, on a sugar cube.
posted by vapidave at 3:19 AM on April 1, 2014 [2 favorites]

Keep your head.
posted by Mr. Yuck at 4:13 AM on April 1, 2014 [2 favorites]

Keep your head? Can you stand on your head?

P.S. Don't step on the mome raths.
posted by IndigoRain at 4:21 AM on April 1, 2014

Please send details of your dealer.
posted by bystander at 4:31 AM on April 1, 2014

Have you had jam today? The rule is jam tomorrow and jam yesterday. That might be making things worse.
posted by jeather at 5:26 AM on April 1, 2014 [3 favorites]

Dude, just because the sign says "drink me" doesn't mean you have to comply.

Also, you are allowed to go through a door that says "keep this door closed at all times". Just don't prop it open, is all.
posted by tel3path at 6:32 AM on April 1, 2014 [2 favorites]

Al, is it any bottle or just this particular bottle? Did you buy it or find it? What is it labelled as?

You say you don't do drugs... it sounds like you just started.

Nthing to keep your head.
posted by RainyJay at 6:35 AM on April 1, 2014 [1 favorite]

Follow the white rabbit.
posted by sammyo at 7:36 AM on April 1, 2014 [1 favorite]

What's going on here :(?
posted by jjmoney at 8:43 AM on April 1, 2014 [2 favorites]

mimsy
posted by 40% Chance of Florence Henderson at 9:15 AM on April 1, 2014 [5 favorites]

i'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.
posted by bruce at 9:28 AM on April 1, 2014

Have you attempted to "drink yourself sober?" Trust me this takes a lot more than just one drink.
posted by Devils Rancher at 9:49 AM on April 1, 2014 [1 favorite]

Beware the Jabberwock, the Jubjub bird, and the Bandersnatch, while you're at it. Just make sure your vorpal sword is at hand, yeah?
posted by lauranesson at 10:01 AM on April 1, 2014 [3 favorites]

don't just keep your head, feed your head.
posted by bruce at 10:13 AM on April 1, 2014 [3 favorites]

You know who else had a drinking problem? That's right: Ted Striker.
posted by 40% Chance of Florence Henderson at 12:03 PM on April 1, 2014 [2 favorites]

Why, Mary Ann, what are you doing on AskMe? Run home this moment, and fetch me a pair of gloves and a fan! Quick, now!
posted by amarynth at 12:16 PM on April 1, 2014 [3 favorites]