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Nice puppy, gooood puppy...
April 1, 2014 9:04 AM

I'm afraid of my neighbor's huge St. Bernard, which they left unleashed while they went on vacation. I'm writing now from inside my car, where I'm trapped with my son -- if we leave the car, I'm afraid the dog will attack us. It's getting hot. Is there something in the car I can use as a diversion or a weapon? Am I afraid for nothing? We're in Maine.
posted by DonnaT to Pets & Animals around (13 answers total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
Don't walk - mambo. Dogs hate the mambo.
posted by flimflam at 10:27 PM on March 31, 2014

I've heard some dogs really go for classical music?
posted by Sequence at 11:25 PM on March 31, 2014

Ask him to roll over. See what happens.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 11:32 PM on March 31, 2014 [1 favorite]

Dude, what are you doing on askme? Close your browser app and call 911 and ask them to send animal control! What is this, the seventies?
posted by lovecrafty at 11:50 PM on March 31, 2014 [14 favorites]

You could use your son as both a diversion and/or a weapon.
posted by quadog at 12:02 AM on April 1, 2014

Yeah, seriously. I'd throw the child at him and run like hell. A big dog should be able to take care of the evidence .. It's a doggy dog world, ya know!
posted by h00py at 2:42 AM on April 1, 2014 [2 favorites]

Step 1, hit dog with car. Step 2: secretly bury dog in semetary or sacred indian burial ground. step 3: live a long, happy life.
posted by Jacen at 7:12 AM on April 1, 2014 [3 favorites]

I hate to mention this, but if the car you're trapped in is a red-and-white 1958 Plymouth Fury, the dog is the least of your problems.
posted by FelliniBlank at 9:02 AM on April 1, 2014 [7 favorites]

Rip the shifter off the steering column and then ... whippet! whippet good!
posted by initapplette at 9:14 AM on April 1, 2014

It's important that you determine who let the dog out so that proper legal action can be taken.
posted by rubster at 9:32 AM on April 1, 2014

i believe you may be overlooking a satisfying conclusion to this matter. at least, according to pictures i have seen on the internet.
posted by quonsar II: smock fishpants and the temple of foon at 10:01 AM on April 1, 2014

This thread is useless without pictures of the puppy!
posted by MsMolly at 11:48 AM on April 1, 2014 [8 favorites]

OP, check in with an update when you can, would you? I'm sure by now you're home and rested and laughing that you were ever worried, but don't leave us hanging imagining you in some absurd siege-by-St.-Bernard!
posted by Elsa at 3:30 PM on April 1, 2014 [2 favorites]

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