Big dinner, last night in town

April 1, 2014 8:34 AM

I've got this huge dinner with a dozen friends coming up that I can't get out of. It's my last night in town, and I'm not on the best of terms with some of the guys showing up but I hope it goes well. What's a good app I can download to split the check fairly? I'm on iOS.
posted by Hay-seuss to Work & Money around (20 answers total)

I suspect you will have bigger issues to worry about by the end of the meal than the bill.
posted by saradarlin at 9:38 PM on March 31, 2014 [12 favorites]

"We thought he was gone...
But he's come back again.
Last week it was funny...
But now the joke's wearing thin."

I don't know from check-splitting, but don't be that guy who just won't quit hanging around. In fact, on second thought, maybe you should skip the dinner entirely.
posted by limeonaire at 9:38 PM on March 31, 2014 [3 favorites]

Jesus Christ. Another Apple fanboy.
posted by imalaowai at 10:20 PM on March 31, 2014 [56 favorites]

Whatever happens, try not to get cross.
posted by salvia at 11:04 PM on March 31, 2014 [16 favorites]

Look, why don't you take them back to your place and serve salmon on toast? You always have plenty of that to go around. A nice red and everyone's happy, and you don't need to worry about any money. My advice though, is watch out for the kinky friend who always wants to lock lips with you. He's got a problem with loan sharks, and might try to hit you (or your friends up) for some cash.
posted by b33j at 2:33 AM on April 1, 2014 [2 favorites]

It's drastic, but you could get your best bud to sneak out during the party and call the cops. You'll get busted, but avoid the bill. Make sure no-one in the party takes a swing at them, and sort it out if they do - this one's strictly up to you, don't be surprised if your friends bail. Reading between the lines, I think you know it's going to be a tough exit, so good luck.
posted by alasdair at 4:37 AM on April 1, 2014 [2 favorites]

"It's drastic, but you could get your best bud to sneak out during the party and call the cops. You'll get busted, but avoid the bill. "

Just in case this does happen, make sure everyone's tunics are well attached, you wouldn't want anyone to have to run around naked if the fuzz starts trying to grab people.
posted by Blasdelb at 5:21 AM on April 1, 2014 [1 favorite]

Not sure about the app but you're going to want to make sure everyone's on the same currency. Nobody wants to deal with that asshat who insists on paying for everything in silver. Trust me, keep -that guy- out of your dinner party.
posted by FritoKAL at 5:31 AM on April 1, 2014 [5 favorites]

Wow, look at all your trials and tribulations. I bet it will go a lot more smoothly than you think.

It seems like your biggest fear is having to pay for the entire meal, of having them eat you out of house and home. If the night drags on try to really bring that home. I suggest this script:

"For all you care this wine could be my blood. For all you care this bread could be my body"

If nothing else it will get them to remember you after you've left town.
posted by mountmccabe at 5:31 AM on April 1, 2014 [10 favorites]

The Host should pay in situations like this.
posted by drlith at 5:59 AM on April 1, 2014 [31 favorites]

After all, we know He's got the bread.
posted by salvia at 7:17 AM on April 1, 2014 [2 favorites]

Be sure not to choke on the charoset.
posted by brujita at 7:34 AM on April 1, 2014

Look, no matter what happens with the friends you have a difference with, always look on the bright side of life.
posted by Hactar at 10:16 AM on April 1, 2014 [5 favorites]

Tab can be really useful for this.

Doesn't help you deal with the jerk, though. Christ, what an asshole.
posted by Grither at 10:27 AM on April 1, 2014 [1 favorite]

I'm on iOS.

Have you tried denariOS? It's great when you have to figure out what you have to render unto whom.
posted by zamboni at 10:59 AM on April 1, 2014 [4 favorites]

It's kind of off topic so I understand if this gets deleted, but have you thought about hiring someone to do a group portrait while you're all together?
posted by TedW at 11:28 AM on April 1, 2014 [8 favorites]

Just make sure everyone gets home safely before the cock crows. (Well, at least by the third time.)
posted by maryr at 1:23 PM on April 1, 2014

Don't worry so much. It's not like it's going to be your last supper or anything.
posted by SisterHavana at 8:42 PM on April 1, 2014

If it doesn't work out, don't worry! Plenty of scientific institutions and universities doing research on Bistromathics would love to host you and your guests.
posted by not_on_display at 9:04 PM on April 1, 2014

It's my last night in town.
You'll be back. And sooner than you think.
posted by mono blanco at 5:35 AM on April 2, 2014 [1 favorite]